Any parent is pleased by achievements of the child. It is pleasant when the son or the daughter perfectly copes with tasks at school and regularly gets approval of teachers. Some parents get used to it. And it seems to others that to be an excellent student — a direct duty of the child. They continue to press, even when he loses interest in some subject.
But whether it is so good to receive one five and to diligently cram lessons?
we have made the list of explanations why at school not to be equal to be the excellent student successful in life. Also have found the reasons for which the requirement from the child of one five can lead to very depressing consequences.
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If the child manages to study, play well sports and to communicate with peers, so everything excellent. But in the real world many children experience big strain. Quite seldom work of the child is limited to one school. Often parents add to it lessons of music, English and other additional circles. Plus obligations for the house.
In attempt to grow up from the genius's successor parents don't consider opportunities of his organism. Often are unaffected by physical activities if only the child himself doesn't show to them interest. Probably, therefore more and more children in the world suffer from excess weight, and spend free time at the computer to be disconnected from reality. However physical and mental health of the child are important as well as intelligence: they need to be developed and protected to grow up the full-fledged personality.
That it is more important: to receive the five in all objects in a quarter or to dilute estimates with the fours, but to be prepared for an important conference which will help to enter to the university? The answer, apparently, is obvious. But only not for those who have got used to study perfectly well. It is still more important to such children to get approval of teachers and parents in high school, than to choose what will help them to take place with adulthood.
Good marks — it is good. But it is more important to teach the child to cram not mechanically material, and to be guided in real life and to define that actually for him it will be useful.
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Can seem that excellent students are the most motivated children. But it not always so. At many since early years, because of pressure of parents, the skill well was fixed to study and in time to perform homework. Such children continue to study at high school diligently, but avoid other occupations where it is necessary to control itself independently. Others are motivated by fear of punishment or disappointment of parents, and it forces them to study hard.
The adult should praise independently himself, to encourage and force. Those who in the childhood haven't got used to do something without external pressure have a risk quickly enough to turn from the excellent student into the loser.
In teenage movies by excellent students avoid and tease, and they can't stand for themselves. And this stereotype, unfortunately, isn't always far from the truth. Knowledge won't replace communication. It is possible to say as much as necessary to himself that your child special and not equal to ill-bred schoolmates. Or to think that he will go to higher education institution — and everything will change. But social skills don't appear from anywhere. Them, as well as others, it is necessary to develop. Otherwise eventually the clever child will envy the charming schoolmate mediocre pupil who easily communicates with girls and is pleasant to teachers so that they overestimate to him estimates.
To adult age it is important to person to learn to start communications and it is easy to communicate with others. You shouldn't isolate the child from peers for the sake of good marks.
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Children dislike excellent students also because they consider themselves it is better than others. But it is difficult to reproach with it the child: since early years he gets used to think what good marks do good and its, and bad — on the contrary.
Such logic not only will prevent to make friends, but also can spoil adulthood. If to estimate itself only on achievements, any failure will turn from the winner into the loser. It is important to bring up in the child the unconditional value of and others that he understood that estimates and other external achievements too, don't define either his identity, or the identity of people around.
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All should face a failure sooner or later. Better if it occurs early. Then the child will learn to cope with unpleasant emotions and to move further. If he gets used to the idea that everything has to come easily, in adulthood, most likely, he will avoid and be afraid of failures.
For people who have got used to estimate the abilities as congenital the failure is a signal that they aren't so clever and talented. Those who understand that abilities develop, belong to failures as to lessons and inevitable mistakes on the way to improvement. In other words, it is more useful to child to receive the three, to correct it and to take out from this a lesson, than to cram and shiver desperately with horror that he will receive it.
Appreciation — in many respects result of good memory and assiduity. But adulthood doesn't give ready decisions and doesn't give points for test results. The child should face difficult ethical questions, to regularly make the choice in situations where there is no unambiguously correct decision, to independently analyze data and to draw conclusions on their basis.
The imagination, thinking and logic is much more useful in lives, than ability to learn by heart two paragraphs in an evening. It is worth focusing on development in the child of these skills, but not on receiving ideal estimates.
If the son or the daughter diligently crams, responsibly performs tasks and obediently follows all your instructions, it isn't necessary to rejoice to complaisance and obedience.
Children are ready to play in the days soccer, to read books on stories or a fantasy avidly. And it is normal — to advocate the interests and to try to avoid what doesn't want to be done. If the child is interested in nothing, except good marks, he tries to fulfill all requirements of adults and is afraid to object — things look bad. Humility and weak character — not the best lines for adulthood. It is better to provide to the child at least the minimum freedom and responsibility in decision-making including in study. It will develop independence and will facilitate further life.
It is quite good to study perfectly well, of course. But there is nothing terrible and in having average estimates. Eventually, success in life defines not the school certificate. And how estimates at school have affected your further life?
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