It is possible to receive good education not only in the family or at school, but also … at himself.
It is only necessary to know what is the true good breeding.
I don't undertake to give "recipes" of good breeding as I don't consider myself at all is exemplary well-mannered. But I would like to share some thoughts with readers. I am convinced, for example, that the true good breeding is shown first of all at home, in the family, in the relations with the family.
If the man on the street passes himself the unfamiliar woman forward (even in the bus!) and even opens for her a door, and houses won't help the tired wife to wash dishes, – he is an ill-mannered person. If with acquaintances he is polite, and with house is irritated in each occasion, – he is an ill-mannered person. If he isn't considered with character, psychology, habits and desires of the relatives, – he is an ill-mannered person.
If already in an adult state he takes the help of parents for granted and doesn't notice that they already need the help, – he is an ill-mannered person. If he loudly gets radio and the TV or talks just loudly when someone prepares lessons of house or reads (let it will be even his small children), – he is an ill-mannered person and will never make well-mannered the children. If he likes to tease (to joke) on the wife or children, without sparing their samolyubiya, especially at strangers then already he (excuse me!) I am simply silly.
The well-mannered person is the one who wants and is able to reckon with others, is the one for whom own politeness not only is habitual and light, but also it is pleasant. It is the one who is equally polite both with the senior, and with younger for years and by situation. The well-mannered person in every respect doesn't behave "loudly", saves time of others ("Accuracy – politeness of kings" – the saying says), strictly keeps the promises made by another, doesn't put on airs, not "assumes airs" and always same – houses, at school, at institute, at work, in shop and in the bus.
The reader has noticed probably that I address mainly the man, the head of the family. It is because the woman needs really to give way … not only in the doorway.
But the clever woman easily will understand what should be done that, always and with appreciation accepting the right granted by her the nature from the man, it is as little as possible to force the man to concede her superiority. And it is much more difficult! Therefore the nature has taken care that women on the whole (I don't speak about exceptions) have been allocated with great feeling of a step and bigger natural politeness, than men …
There are many books about "good manners". These books explain how to behave in society, on a visit and at home, in theater, at work, with senior and younger how to speak, without offending hearing and to put on, without offending sight of people around. But people, unfortunately, scoop from these books a little. There is it, I think because in books about good manners seldom speaks why good manners are necessary. It seems: to have good manners false, boringly, it is unnecessary. The person and really can cover with good manners bad acts.
Yes, good manners can be very external, but in general good manners are created by experience of a great number of generations and mark the centuries-old aspiration of people to be better, it is more convenient and more beautiful to live. In what business? What is the cornerstone of the management for acquisition of good manners? Whether simple this collection of rules, "recipes" of behavior, manuals which everything is difficult to remember? Care – care of that the person didn't disturb the person that all together would feel well is the cornerstone of all good manners.
It is necessary to be able not to interfere with each other. Therefore it isn't necessary to rustle. From noise you won't close ears – hardly it in all cases and it is possible. For example, at a table during food. Therefore it isn't necessary to champ, it isn't necessary to put loudly a fork on a plate, with noise to involve in itself soup, to speak loudly at dinner or to talk with mouth full that neighbors had no fears. Also it isn't necessary to put elbows on a table – besides not to disturb the neighbor. It is necessary to be tidily dressed because in it the respect for others – to guests affects, to owners or just to passersby: it shouldn't be opposite to look at you.
It isn't necessary to tire neighbors with continuous jokes, jokes and jokes, especially such which have already been told by someone to your listeners. It you put listeners in an awkward situation. Try not only to entertain others, but also allow others to tell something.
Manners, clothes, gait, all behavior has to be reserved and … beautiful. Because any beauty doesn't tire. She is "socially". And in so-called good manners there is always a deep meaning. Don't think that good manners are only manners, that is something superficial. The behavior you reveal the essence.
It is necessary to bring up in itself not so much manners how many what is expressed in manners, careful attitude to the world: to society, to the nature, to animals and birds, to plants, to beauty of the area, to the past of those places where you live, etc. It is necessary not to remember hundreds of rules, and to remember one – need of respect for others. And if you have it and a little more resourcefulness, then manners will come to you or, better to say, memory will come to rules of good behavior, desire and ability to apply them.